Right now I'm reading Conversations with Joan Crawford, a collection of interviews conducted by Roy Newquist between 1962 and 1977. I'm only up to page 70, and I've been consistently amazed by her ability to hurl verbal knives at Hollywood Royalty young and old alike.
JOAN ON NORMA SHEARER:
"Maybe all that time hanging around the sets, watching Norma Shearer make the most of her three expressions was a help."
"Pity poor Norma; she was slightly cross-eyed, worse than Karen Black, to be truthful, so everything had to be carefully arranged, especially her. (TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE!)
JOAN ON LORETTA YOUNG:
"I wasn't like Loretta Young in her silly television show, swishing on in the most absurd concoctions every fag designer could invent. My God, those gowns wouldn't have lasted ten minutes in real life!" (again, TWO BIRDS, ONE STONE!)
JOAN ON DISNEY:
"I'm not crazy about the product--most Disney films are made for retarded children--but the Disney brothers seemed to know who and where their audience was."
JOAN ON DORIS DAY:
"Good Lord. I may come out like Doris Day in that interview you did with her, forgetting everything but my name."
JOAN ON ROY NEWQUIST:
"You ask too many goddamned questions."
And finally, JOAN ON JOAN:
"If I weren't a Christian Scientist, and I saw Trog advertised on a marquee across the street, I think I'd contemplate suicide."
Despite the disturbing casual homophobia, this is a must-read for Joan Crawford fans.
Bonus feature: Joan poses with the ill-fated Dorothy Kilgallen